Toddler Stylings by Lillian: Quick and Easy Makeup Tips That Will Wow!

Putting on your makeup shouldn’t take long. There are, after all, cartoons to be watched, cuddles to be had and rooms to be destroyed. But, it does take some finesse to efficiently apply the perfect face.

In this quick lesson, I will teach you how to really “glam it up” in less time than it takes Mom to change baby brother’s diaper.

Step 1. Don’t head for Mom’s makeup drawer. I know that’s where you were going. And, while Mom’s lip gloss might work for every day occasions, if you are really looking to go glam, then head for the craft drawer. That’s right, the craft drawer. Now pick out the brightest marker you can find.

Step 2. Open the marker.

Step 3. Apply marker to your lips. Then, apply marker around your lips for that extra pizzazz. Don’t forget your cheeks. You don’t want them feeling left out.

Voila, you have the perfect look. Go show Mom. She’s probably just zipping up baby brother’s onesie. Her amazement of your beauty will be worth it all.

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Step 4. You are probably thinking that after creating the perfect look, you are done. But, NO! Don’t fall prey to such naivety. The marker must be destroyed! To truly be glam, no look can be repeated. To accomplish this, simply pick out the marker tip and tear it in to tiny pieces, taking care to spread it across the floor. This will ensure that no adult can simply put it back together.

Stay tuned for more Toddler Stylings by Lillian. Next time we will be discussing tips for redecorating your play area…and the rest of the house.

My First Blog Post

Hi there! It’s me, Lillian. I’ve been trying out some new techniques for my upcoming self-help book. The working title is “How to Properly Avoid Sleep and Other Ways to Train Your Parents.” The techniques seem to be working, as Mom is currently walking around in a zombie-like state undoing all my hard work of making sure there is at least one toy on every square foot of the house. In fact, I might have to take a break to grab on to her legs and make sure she doesn’t do anything silly like put the milk in the cabinet. Again. Like I said, the techniques have been very effective.

So, while Mom is distracted, I thought it would be a good time to take over her blog and tell you what’s really been going on around here. First of all, Mom is very sorry that she hasn’t written in a while. She throws out phrases like “best intentions” and “life happens,” but what she really means is that she’s been trying to juggle work, reading Where’s Spot? and my Pride and Prejudice board book, watching Tangled with me 1,000 times, and taking me outside. I love outside. I keep telling her that she could just let me go outside and she could write inside, but she never listens. She insists that she follow me everywhere.

Apparently, playing in the backyard sandbox bores parents after a while. I would be perfectly content to play there three times a day, but Mom insists on getting me dressed and out of the house. Just yesterday we went to Sundance Square to play in the fountains. My buddy, Marcus, came too! It was pretty awesome (well, unless the water got in my face).

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I can’t complain too much. She normally takes me really cool places like the park, the zoo, or somewhere else outside. Trips to the grocery store are thrown in there intermittently, but those are okay, I guess, as long as she lets me ride in the cart with the steering wheels. If not, I quickly let her know that we need to leave.

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I recently learned that I am getting a promotion. I think it must be because of all of my research on perfecting parent-training techniques. But, I’m excited to share that, on or about December 21, I will be officially promoted to Big Sister. Although it means that Mommy and Daddy’s attention might not always be able to be directed at me, I am excited about this promotion for a number of reasons, including:

1. I will have someone to help me make sure toys cover the house;
2. Mommy might get distracted and forget to force feed me vegetables;
3. I might finally be able to sneak away from Mommy long enough to get in THAT cabinet, get in the toilet, or explore the backyard; and,
4. I’ll have someone to boss around. Er, I mean, care for.

Oh, one last thing. I’ve realized that Mommy never really mentions what’s going on in Daddy’s world on here. Daddy’s doing really well. We visited his new office yesterday. It has a giant cubby, perfect for crawling and climbing on. So, I obviously approve. Before Daddy gets all moved in to his office, I’ve been trying to teach him how to read. I hear it’s an important skill to have if you plan on conducting business. I make him read at least 15 picture books per day, and sometimes insist that he read two at once.

That about sums up life right now. I’m going to go insist Mommy take a break from all her hard work to read (me a book).